Sunday, May 27, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Butterfly
So this might sound completely nerdy, but I don't care.
I love organizing.
There...I said it. My favorite time of the year is the beginning of school because I get to go to office supply stores and plan everything out and organize haha It's a sickness. But! I think I might have figured out something that I want to do with my life because of this weird obsession.
Event planning! This sounds completely amazing to me!! I love small details and planning out complicated things. Being really busy and always having something to do is something I love and which comes along with event planning. I also love helping people. Nothing makes me feel better than making someone happy or making their life easier. I think it would be so much fun to help someone with a big event in their life and to take care of everything for them. And I'd get to be creative at the same time. It sounds perfect. Now I just have to figure out how to get into it. I'm always the one in charge of planning everything out when it comes to doing things with friends or throwing parties, but I don't know how to get my foot in the door with professional people. Maybe I can ask someone at the hotel I work at. We shall see.
Completely unrelated. Do you believe in reincarnation? I can't decide if I do or not. I believe in energy. I believe when we die, our energy is released into the world and stays there forever. Or maybe it goes into space and makes dark matter..I'm not sure. But I believe you're always around in some way. One of my co-workers and I were talking about this tonight. She said that she feels like in her past life she had a horrible experience with fire. I told her I've always felt a connection with certain historic events for some reason and can't explain it. It's nice talking to someone who understands your thoughts when most people just look at you like you're crazy haha The only other person I can talk to about this stuff is my mom. I kind of believe in reincarnation though. When I was little I always wondered why I feared things that I never remembered experiencing before. For example, I've always been terrified of planes for some reason. I just get a bad feeling about them and I don't know why. I've never had a bad experience before. So it makes me wonder if in a past life I died in one or maybe I will die in one. Who knows haha Makes you wonder though. I'd like to believe that when I die, I won't just be gone forever and in non-existence. I'd like to think I'll be back and be able to experience the world more and in different ways. Trying to look at the glass as being half full.
Well, I think that's enough weirdness for one post haha I'm not really sure what I even just wrote about. I'm so tired. My brain feels like it's in a fog. Guess it's time to go snuggle my pillow.
I love organizing.
There...I said it. My favorite time of the year is the beginning of school because I get to go to office supply stores and plan everything out and organize haha It's a sickness. But! I think I might have figured out something that I want to do with my life because of this weird obsession.
Event planning! This sounds completely amazing to me!! I love small details and planning out complicated things. Being really busy and always having something to do is something I love and which comes along with event planning. I also love helping people. Nothing makes me feel better than making someone happy or making their life easier. I think it would be so much fun to help someone with a big event in their life and to take care of everything for them. And I'd get to be creative at the same time. It sounds perfect. Now I just have to figure out how to get into it. I'm always the one in charge of planning everything out when it comes to doing things with friends or throwing parties, but I don't know how to get my foot in the door with professional people. Maybe I can ask someone at the hotel I work at. We shall see.
Completely unrelated. Do you believe in reincarnation? I can't decide if I do or not. I believe in energy. I believe when we die, our energy is released into the world and stays there forever. Or maybe it goes into space and makes dark matter..I'm not sure. But I believe you're always around in some way. One of my co-workers and I were talking about this tonight. She said that she feels like in her past life she had a horrible experience with fire. I told her I've always felt a connection with certain historic events for some reason and can't explain it. It's nice talking to someone who understands your thoughts when most people just look at you like you're crazy haha The only other person I can talk to about this stuff is my mom. I kind of believe in reincarnation though. When I was little I always wondered why I feared things that I never remembered experiencing before. For example, I've always been terrified of planes for some reason. I just get a bad feeling about them and I don't know why. I've never had a bad experience before. So it makes me wonder if in a past life I died in one or maybe I will die in one. Who knows haha Makes you wonder though. I'd like to believe that when I die, I won't just be gone forever and in non-existence. I'd like to think I'll be back and be able to experience the world more and in different ways. Trying to look at the glass as being half full.
Well, I think that's enough weirdness for one post haha I'm not really sure what I even just wrote about. I'm so tired. My brain feels like it's in a fog. Guess it's time to go snuggle my pillow.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Secuuuurrrity
I want to do as much as I can in my life and experience as much as possible. I think I've missed out on a lot in the past because I've been too afraid to do it or too afraid to tell someone how I really feel or think. I'm going to make my best effort in changing that though. I really do believe that you should tell people how you honestly feel and do what you want...otherwise you're missing out on so much that could happen. There's nothing to lose..maybe some hurt feelings every once in awhile or whatnot, but the majority of the time I'm sure will result in amazing memories and experiences that will surly make up for those few bad instances.
Ever since I was little, I always made an effort to tell the people close to me how much they mean to me and to never leave them on bad terms. You really don't know what will happen in life. Better to have everyone that matters to you know how much they mean to you instead of wishing they did. I know I'm great-full for the people who make an effort to keep me in their life and who let me know I'm important to them. I can only do the same for them. Everyone else can go suck it and be the grumpy pants that they are.
Well, I'm going to go make some food for my face now. Just had an awesome run! Oh hahaha Funny story real quick. I was running on the treadmill in my apartment's gym because it's too ghetto to run outside. Well, I run with earphones in and my music pretty loud and my back is to the door. So there I am running away la la la in my own world singing at the top of my lungs when all of a sudden I see someone standing right behind me out of nowhere!! I practically fell off the treadmill hahaha I don't know how I didn't. It was just the security guard checking on everything...too bad I didn't see him. And too bad he had to hear me sing. Poor guy. haha.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Llama Cats
Heellloooo from the cobwebs! Wow, I totally forgot about this blog! I can't believe over a year has gone by...so much has happened.
Maybe I'll start blabbing in here again. I sure as hell could use a spot to unload my brain every once in awhile. We shall see. Let's keep this as a casual fling for now..no serious commitments yet. 3rd date status up in here.
Brief update:
I'm now a senior in college. How freaking terrifying and exciting all at once. I really can't believe how fast time goes! I'm even trying to graduate a semester early, in December. I really really want to make that happen, even if I die a little from the workload. I plan on graduating in December then getting the hell out of AZ. Hopefully to Colorado or somewhere similar. Anywhere really. Maybe I'll even travel to different countries for awhile. I'm not sure. I'm going to see where the wind blows me. As long as it's far from here.
My parents just sold their house. I lived there for 9 years and they've been there for a total of 12. Lots and lots of memories created there so it was kind of sad to pack it up and say goodbye. But I think it will be a good change. The house was just too big for just my parents and it's not close to anything. They are going to rent a house for a year until they decide what they want to do. It's a nice rental house..hardwood floors, view of a lake, grass, near civilization, and an amazing smelling gardenia bush on the patio. I'm actually going to move in with them in the next month for a bit. My plan is to save as much money as I can so when I move out of state, I can actually afford to. Living with them will help a lot. And it'll be nice to have some company. I'm currently living alone in an apartment. It gets kind of sad sometimes. Especially since I use to live here with my old boyfriend.
That's another update. Over a year and a half relationship and lived with him, but it just wasn't working. Hardest thing I've had to do, but I know it was the right decision for the both of us. He was my best friend so it makes it even harder. It's not easy for me to find someone that I can trust and can be my crazy weird self with. I know one day we can be friends again though...just not now.
Hmm...what else. Something really bad happened. But I don't really want to talk about that. Just another shit storm to get through...but eventually it will be over and I'll be a stronger person. At least that's what I tell myself. Honestly, I just feel like a cave inside lately. It's hard to explain, but I just feel like I'm going through the motions of life without actually experiencing anything or being present. It's like I'm sleep walking. It's the weirdest and most frustrating thing. I usually just tuck everything into a little corner and forget about it and put a smile on. Really hasn't been working lately. I just wish I had someone I could count on. It seems like I'm always there for other people. It just sucks to feel alone. That's life though I guess.
I decided to start training to run a half marathon and a full marathon. I'm pretty nervous for them, especially since I have really bad knees and other injuries from soccer. I'm going to go to the doctor soon and get checked out though. I'm really excited to do the half and full marathons though. I've always wanted to run them, but never have for some reason. It's going to be great. It's something I'm doing just for myself and no one else.
I'm pretty sure that's the bulk of all the major events. So much for brief haha. I am going to be photographing a wedding in San Francisco in September and it's the first one that I'll be the main photographer for! Super nervous and excited! Should be a ton of fun though. Other than that, just the usual crap of life. Working a crap ton, not sleeping a crap ton. I really just need to escape and have a complete change. It's time for a new me. Maybe I can discover who that is soon.
Okay, well I'm going to stop rambling for now. Maybe I'll update this with random crap that amuses me or whatever. I don't know. For now, I'll leave you with this picture:
Llama cats...llats? Catmas? Who knows. They're cute. And I'm sure it made you smile :)
Maybe I'll start blabbing in here again. I sure as hell could use a spot to unload my brain every once in awhile. We shall see. Let's keep this as a casual fling for now..no serious commitments yet. 3rd date status up in here.
Brief update:
I'm now a senior in college. How freaking terrifying and exciting all at once. I really can't believe how fast time goes! I'm even trying to graduate a semester early, in December. I really really want to make that happen, even if I die a little from the workload. I plan on graduating in December then getting the hell out of AZ. Hopefully to Colorado or somewhere similar. Anywhere really. Maybe I'll even travel to different countries for awhile. I'm not sure. I'm going to see where the wind blows me. As long as it's far from here.
My parents just sold their house. I lived there for 9 years and they've been there for a total of 12. Lots and lots of memories created there so it was kind of sad to pack it up and say goodbye. But I think it will be a good change. The house was just too big for just my parents and it's not close to anything. They are going to rent a house for a year until they decide what they want to do. It's a nice rental house..hardwood floors, view of a lake, grass, near civilization, and an amazing smelling gardenia bush on the patio. I'm actually going to move in with them in the next month for a bit. My plan is to save as much money as I can so when I move out of state, I can actually afford to. Living with them will help a lot. And it'll be nice to have some company. I'm currently living alone in an apartment. It gets kind of sad sometimes. Especially since I use to live here with my old boyfriend.
That's another update. Over a year and a half relationship and lived with him, but it just wasn't working. Hardest thing I've had to do, but I know it was the right decision for the both of us. He was my best friend so it makes it even harder. It's not easy for me to find someone that I can trust and can be my crazy weird self with. I know one day we can be friends again though...just not now.
Hmm...what else. Something really bad happened. But I don't really want to talk about that. Just another shit storm to get through...but eventually it will be over and I'll be a stronger person. At least that's what I tell myself. Honestly, I just feel like a cave inside lately. It's hard to explain, but I just feel like I'm going through the motions of life without actually experiencing anything or being present. It's like I'm sleep walking. It's the weirdest and most frustrating thing. I usually just tuck everything into a little corner and forget about it and put a smile on. Really hasn't been working lately. I just wish I had someone I could count on. It seems like I'm always there for other people. It just sucks to feel alone. That's life though I guess.
I decided to start training to run a half marathon and a full marathon. I'm pretty nervous for them, especially since I have really bad knees and other injuries from soccer. I'm going to go to the doctor soon and get checked out though. I'm really excited to do the half and full marathons though. I've always wanted to run them, but never have for some reason. It's going to be great. It's something I'm doing just for myself and no one else.
I'm pretty sure that's the bulk of all the major events. So much for brief haha. I am going to be photographing a wedding in San Francisco in September and it's the first one that I'll be the main photographer for! Super nervous and excited! Should be a ton of fun though. Other than that, just the usual crap of life. Working a crap ton, not sleeping a crap ton. I really just need to escape and have a complete change. It's time for a new me. Maybe I can discover who that is soon.
Okay, well I'm going to stop rambling for now. Maybe I'll update this with random crap that amuses me or whatever. I don't know. For now, I'll leave you with this picture:
Llama cats...llats? Catmas? Who knows. They're cute. And I'm sure it made you smile :)
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